if you are ever in Worcester MA
go to Biagio's bar and grille on park ave.
it is a small 2nd or 3rd generation itailian place
it is not fancy (table cloth is plastic)
and eat lots of their bread because the home made dipping sauce is also amazing
order chicken piccata or veal if you like that
it is the best chicken piccata ever.
it makes me so happy
i want some right now

someone call me tomorrow and make sure i'm ok

i hold grudges for the stuff i consider dumb or major
almost a year
there is really nothing that can be said,
i just have to miss them

i got a 4.0 for the term.
and a 3.47 as my overall GPA
i worked so hard for it, I am so happy.
so now I know I can handle:
a boyfriend, a dog, a part time job, a club, and a part part time job.

this term will be different in
I will not have a crew commitment
(must officially quit, because I can not do spring)
I do not know if I will be working more hours
I will try to be involved with a different club
I will be walking that lady's dog everyday
I need to get a lot of presents because of the holidays, birthdays,
and my soon to be sister in laws bridal shower, and the wedding itself
and I will only have one joke class not two
lastly, my two real classes have the same professor
which if i like him will be fantastic, if he does not work for me, it will be tragic
I hope I keep the momentum of good grades going

I will be filling out more stuff for summer internships
I need to save in case I need to sublet a place so I can have my dog
he makes me soooo happy.

it is taking forever to get my room back to the condition it was originally in

so i dont know if i wrote this before
but i got into a fender bender with a car that had a strong fender
his car's fender was slightly miss aligned, but it did not have a bump
this is because my low to the ground car went under his fender
so my actual bumper got damaged very little.
the bottom to middle of my bumper is basically perfectly fine
my hood got fucked.
the coolant came out so a hose or the radiator itself is fucked.
my car is old, was shitty when we bought it,
and has had to have alot of repairs over the years
the insurance company says its totaled
fuck my life!

no idea how much money they are going to give
car was not worth alot
so we'll see what its replacement is like
im going to try to get in a VW
cause that is where its at

no one is cursed. some people are lazy
like my roommate.
who plays fucking WOW all day for hours
and wonders why he gets bad grades
then convinces himself he did everything he could
and something is just wrong with his thought process
he tried EVERYTHING and just couldnt get it
though he didnt go to tutors, didnt use all the online resources, didnt talk to the very kind and patient professor, didnt ask me for help when it mattered.
but he did EVERYTHING and for some unknown reason things arent working out
fucking bullshit
anyone who thinks they are cursed or has bad luck
needs to grow the fuck up and take some god damned responsibility for their lives

my english class has been a god send
i dont think so much time should have been spent on writing back in the day
or ready silly novels that barely mattered and are only still alive because of historical content
why did we not read more of the philosophers, the great writers, the journals of the people who advanced out world
i want to take out so many books now and just read and read and read
learn all of what they all had to say
to be a filter, and make my own philosophy on life.
i might by the second volume of this work just to read.
if you want essays about the American Dream and about revolutionizing the world around you, and how to make things better or learn who is making things worse and why
"American Ground; vistas, visions, and revisions"

Finals week
one down two to go.
It should be interesting
i'm on the border line between A and B in my classes
(once again, my school does not do pluses or minuses
something I do not think so highly of anymore.
I think it should be a freshman year only thing these days,
But once you cross that borderline a nice 4.0 will be fantastic)
so im really hoping and working for an A
Did I mention I am sick
poop

I am sort of looking at 2 bedroom apartments on craigslist
I like my guys but I'm not sure if I can keep living with them
I think I am going to tell them in January that if certain things dont change
I can not keep my sanity and be there.
They are little things so maybe I am being picky
but I cant help it
I dont like their pile of dishes so large I can not do my own
I dont like how they leave lights on constantly
I dont like how two of them have their own fridges in their rooms (big energy waster)
I do not like that only me and on other kid does the garbage every week
I hate how they do not pick up after themselves so the table has a layer of grime on it, tons of dishes with food left on it, one kids room has half eaten food EVERYWHERE (once a piece of pizza was on this chair of his for two weeks), and why are there always socks in the hallway?
And I honestly can not stand how one of these kids whines about his life all the time, when everything he complains about is solely in his control. no other person can affect the things he complains about but him. and he is a fucking lying coward. and it makes me dislike him, but he is a good kid despite that. but I hate people who lie over stupid shit, atleast let it be worth while.

the 2 bedroom would only work if my friend Courtney stayed going to school next year
and wanted to live with me and my dog
anthony sometimes talks about how we should get one
but that is not happening so soon
and my family would never go for that.

my dog does not like finals week and has peed inside twice
but i also think he might be sick because he has been extremely sensitive lately

today I received my first gold medal
or any medal for that matter

i coxed an eight
i yelled things a lot
i yelled at another boat

towards the end it got a little sketchy
but oh well

my day was good until around 3:30ish

life is still good.
Because I didn't get my rent checks till sunday
i didn't go to the bank till today
hopefully they clear in time.

uh, i really do not have alot to say

my doggy is good.
my room is getting messy.
i need to go shopping for food
and i'm almost 1000 miles over where i needed to get an oil change.

i dont think i have alot to do today or for the rest of the week

people need alot to do in their day
and responsibilities.

i have more to do these days than ever before
and i am so happy
it has alot to do with the dog
but knowing you are making the most of your time and doing the best you can
really helps how you feel

cody will make internships harder over the summer
if i get one
i really want one.
alot of the places i went to said they do the electronic aspect of things
for the stuff i was interested in
(there was a career fair yesterday, pointless because you still have to go online for everything)
this was a major push for the electrical engineering minor.

it seems like everyone is doing well for the most part which gives me piece of mind

i feel like things are back on track with anthony over all
it got a little rocky there for a bit
but i think thats over.
i hope it lasts awhile, we are both very emotional and smart people with big personailities
so i should have been aware that there had to be clashing at one time or another

i have an essay ish to write.

do you ever have days where you want to stab someone
i really do.
fuck.

im tired and my head hurts
my tummy hurts
i dont do anything else but i need to

fuck.

my dog is whining though he was let out

i wish my best friend here wasnt a guy
cause we cant just live in an apartment me and him
it would be weird to everyone.
but we go to bed around the same time,
and live in a similiar style.


i get more antisocial by the day.
i really want to blow something up

i need to change my email on this
and write my resume
fuck this shit

when they first moved in one of my roommates said you needed alot of spatulas and ladels because they are plastic and melt to the pans
that has never happened in my household before
he has destroyed 2 spatulas so far
its been less than a month

hmm, it looks really small here.
i hope everyone will be able to read it.
so true.
and probably will be for more than a few people that read this.

i dont feel well
i'll keep you updated if i get swine flu

dearest friends,

i love you above all others because of everything "wrong" with you
everything that you have ever over self analyzed about, are the things that endear me to you.
the reasons that other kids aren't that close to you, are the things that make me want to be closer
you are all so special to me. i know i will never meet people like you ever again.
your cares, your aspirations, the extreme degree of your varying emotions,
just being so yourself and so real.
i will always be there when you need me

that is why I love you.

farmville

love yourself.

post some entries mother duckers

FYE in another state, something new but not at the same time
the pay is better
but that is because Mass has a high minimum wage
but the manager gave me 20 cents higher
YAY

in other news
school is getting ever closer
i have most of my books

jealousy will be the end of me

it's funny what growing up to fast makes you think is kids stuff
things that may sound cool or new to others
just seems dumb and boring and really not worth the time.
i was offered perkiset(sp?) yesterday.
i feel like i have abused my brain way too much
and i really like the brain cells i have left.
ive done decent in life and school so far
but ive been thinking lately i might have even done better
if i let my brain develop a little more before fucking it
and i had some fun, but it wasnt worth my future at all
even if its just 2 minutes more studying than i need
or one second more to make a decision.
this is my life.

i miss people.
im coming home sunday to monday to see my sister
and my mom and dad and hope
i feel so bad about hope
im going to get her a trendmill for christmas
that way she can lose weight and my mom cant say
the dog isnt cause she was too tired to walk it

cody is doing very well
i will be working very part time at the FYE up here
i kind of still really hate the company
but with the economy like it is
i dont have any other choice
and it is better than nothing
i hope it works out

i am so excited for the crew season to start.
i really really hope i will be able to handle
school
crew
work
and taking care of cody
that is a lot of time
but im taking an english and history course
and only one real course
so i hope it works out
wish me luck

i miss and love you hudson valley
mostly just pine bush and its inhabitants
oh yea, i got a new phone and can be contacted again
not that that is why i havent been but oh well

anthony and i are very similiar
in that we are overly emotional
and quick to say whatever we want
matter the consequence
but because were both like it
feelings do not get hurt actually

Animal organizations.
Varying from shelter funds to wildlife rescue
to preserving woodlands.

then children organization.
more for abused children and children that need adopting
IN AMERICA! 

then scientific research for diseases
diabetes, and affordable drugs for AIDS
because magic johnson should have died along time ago
but because he's rich my sister told me they found his personal cocktail of drugs
and now he has little to no trace of the disease.
while children are dying for no reason because there dad works hard all day
yet makes so little money

dog training is odd